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You LOOK like skinny.

June 3, 2012

sue: amma, you’re skinny.

billy: no she LOOK like skinny.

sue: no she is skinny.

billy: (at a higher decibel) NO, she LOOK like skinny.

sue: we are fat.

billy: no we LOOK like fat.

this was the morning conversation at breakfast.

Bangladesh-the land that I missed.

June 1, 2012

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I went to Bangladesh for a couple of weddings. One was my brother-in-law‘s and the other was my cousin’s.  So much fun. While we were there we had a funeral also.  Could not make it for safety reasons.  Here are some snapshots of Bangladesh. Will post more in a few days.

im backkkkkkkkkk!

May 27, 2012

I open up a post. I think. I freeze. I try again tomorrow and the cycle repeats itself.  I want to improve my writing by writing on this blog and have not devoted the time. I overthink over and over.  Its pretty bad.

This past week we got back from Bangladesh. It was nice overall.   Pictures will be posted soon.  The sleep schedule is out of whack.  I’m exhausted at 1 P.M and 9 P.M every night.

forgive and forget.

April 17, 2012

You forgive. You forget. Life moves on. I was the kind that would do such a thing but lately its not possible. My mood is shifting. I would let people say whatever they wanted and then let them get away with it.  I did not care that I was forgiving them and moving on with  my life rather than holding grudges.

“When you hold a grudge, you want someone else’s sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but the two rarely meet.”  ―    Steve Maraboli,    Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”  ―    Anne Lamott

Small misunderstanding.

April 16, 2012

I wait and wait and wait some more. He was suppose to come as soon as the prayer was done but it took longer than expected.  Lying on my belly and reading Sophie Kinsella‘s book “I’ve Got Your Number.” the husband comes home.  I’m still reading it because I hear the click of a door and assume that he went into the bathroom. Instead he is in the kids room sleeping on the top bed with no blanket.

“Come into the room.”

No answer.

“Hello.”

I wait in the other room. He comes. He’s upset about something. I have no clue.

“You were so into your book that you didn’t even acknowledge that I came home.”

Yup, it’s going to be a longgggggggggg night with very little sleep.

Things to do. So little time.

April 14, 2012

To do list for the week:

Finish packing all bags.

Weigh all bags and make sure they are under 45 lbs.

Wash and put more kids clothes into bags.

Get books and journals for the long plane trip.

Don’t forget the book “Do not be sad” by al-Qarni

Pack bags with goodies for the kids.

Coloring books and crayons and chewy bars.

Camera. Full charged. and empty.

Even though I have things to do, I am not motivated today. Slept in until almost 9.

Have a great weekend everyone!

A day that time stood still.

April 12, 2012

I wrote about a special person to me this time last year. This year is year two without him.  If this post seems familiar its because it is and there are no other ways to describe today than through these words:

Life still continues after death though the grieving process takes longer.  A year has slowly crept by and now an anniversary that feels like a forever ago is right around the corner.  Though the exact date is still a blur, the events will stay embedded in my memory for a long time.

He died suddenly at the young age of 24.  He was a quiet person who spoke with words of wisdom.  He never got mad if anyone over did the joking, never talked back or got angry.  His soul was yearning to meet with the Creator of the world.  His sleep went away first when we moved into the new house.   A few minutes here and there every night.  The most sleep he got at the new house in one night was one hour of sleep.

Next he lost his appetite.   He could not eat.  The mere thought of eating made him throw up.  He had a constant thirst down in his throat that was not quenched.

Depression had taken its toll and he quietly left a world with many questioning how the events had unfolded.  The kids had a first hand experience with death.  They hung out with him the day before at the park, running and screaming.  Billy ran off on the sidewalk all the way to the end of the block and almost went into the street. I shouted for him to stop.  It was a scary moment.

He never yelled or disciplined the kids for the “bad” behavior. They could pull his hair out and he would keep on laughing like it was the best feeling in the world.

He is forever missed and always remembered.